I’m going to be completely honest. Before I really needed support with my son’s sleep, I had no idea that sleep consultants even existed. I knew that health visitors and GPs could give you some guidance, but not that a profession actually existed that solely focused on all things sleep.
After struggling in the depths of sleep deprivation myself and getting support, and I’ve talked about this alot on my blog and my social media accounts, it really was a light bulb moment for me. That I could use my vast knowledge and expertise as a paediatric nurse, health visitor and infant feeding counsellor, to also support families with sleep. It brought together for me, both my professional knowledge and personal experience.
I’ve always said, that you never really know about sleep consultants until you actually need one. And as I’ve built Sleep Nurse UK and started my journey supporting families all over the UK and worldwide, the social media algorithm has linked me to some incredible professionals. But it’s also lifted the curtain on parts of sleep consulting that I didn’t know existed, and that quite frankly, I try and distant myself from as much as possible.
I’ve seen chats in Facebook groups, where mum’s state they were forced to leave their baby crying for hours on end. I’ve seen video’s from parents who simply state that sleep consultants are the devil reincarnated and actually as parents we should lean into the sleep deprivation. I’ve seen the opinions that sleep consultants are a waste of time and money. And I’ve sadly heard of sleep consultants making things much, much worse for families and then making an incredibly hasty exit with the fee.
It sounds horrific.
But it’s also given me this feeling, that maybe I’m right where I need to be. Maybe I need to shout that bit louder. It’s given me a renewed determination to get my message across. And I have a duty to those parents who truly need my support.
I hate this black and white argument I see when it comes to sleep. Individuals suggest, that sleep deprivation is part and parcel of being a parent. And whilst to some degree that is true, what about if a mum is so sleep deprived she can barely function, when the lack of sleep is affecting her mental health. What then? How can you tell her to lean into it? And I speak here from personal experience. From the isolation and embarrassment I felt that my child just wouldn’t sleep.
And then there’s people who raised 7 children themselves and they just ‘got on with it’, who state they can’t think of anything more ridiculous than a consultant of sleep! And to those people I’d say, how lucky you are that you never struggled night after night, that bedtimes weren’t filled with dread and anxiety. And also, please drop the judgement (thank you).
You’ll never, ever see me saying parents NEED to get sleep support. And I truly mean that. Because sleep is unique, it’s individual and it needs to work for you and your child. There is no ‘perfect sleep’, because if it’s working for you, then you’re doing it right. And that may look very different to what other families sleep looks like.
We’ve moved on from cry-it-out, because there are so many more methods and techniques now that can help to shape sleep that are gentle, responsive and evidence-based. And quite frankly, I’d never have trained in a profession that didn’t align with my standards and morals as a nurse.
As for professionals who are simply giving unsafe advice, as a parent, I’d ask you to make sure that at every step you feel happy and comfortable with the advice you are given. Do your research. Because if something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. I bring such high levels of expertise and knowledge to the table (and I know that sounds a bit cocky, but honestly it’s true!). I qualified as a paediatric nurse 21 years ago now, and I still work as a nurse alongside supporting families with sleep. I know the ins and outs of child health, child development and NHS guidance, and all of this is woven into my work.
I hope that when families tumble across my blog or social media, they can truly see that I’m a champion for parental gut-instinct. There is no black and white when it comes to sleep, just lots of shades of grey and variation. I uphold professionalism, evidence base and above all that, partnering with families, supporting every step of the way. There is no magic. It is this foundation which makes me so successful.
Sadly, there are some sleep consultants or coaches out there who may not have quite the same ethos. But that is driving me to champion what expert sleep support should actually look like.
